50 Halloween Jokes So Funny, It’s Scary!

50 Halloween Jokes So Funny, It’s Scary!

Whether you’re carving pumpkins, handing out candy, or planning a spooky movie night, these Halloween jokes are guaranteed to lift your spirits—literally. From groan-worthy puns to ghoulish one-liners, this collection is perfect for kids, parents, party hosts, or anyone who loves a good (or bad) laugh. Beware: these jokes are so funny, they might raise the dead!

50 Halloween Jokes That’ll Make You Cackle Like a Witch

Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos!

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.

Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.

What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream!

Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.

What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.

How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.

Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? Because biting necks was a pain in the neck!

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin’ goblin.

Why don’t zombies eat comedians? They taste funny.

What’s a vampire’s least favorite food? Stake.

How do ghosts keep fit? By exorcising regularly.

What’s a mummy’s favorite music genre? Wrap.

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.

What do witches use to do their hair? Scare spray.

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.

Why did the ghost go to therapy? He couldn’t get over his boo-hoos.

What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.

Why are vampires always sick? They’re always coffin.

What do you call a zombie who writes music? A decomposer.

Why did the ghost go to school? To learn his haunting skills.

What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.

Why do vampires always look well dressed? Because they always wear fang-cy clothes.

What did the pumpkin say to the carver? Cut it out!

What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek.

Why don’t skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.

What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.

What kind of monster loves to dance? The boogie man.

Why do ghosts love elevators? Because they lift their spirits.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.

What’s a werewolf’s favorite holiday? Howl-oween.

What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.

What’s a ghost’s favorite candy? Lifesavers.

How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.

What do you get if you divide a pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

Why did the headless horseman start a business? He wanted to get ahead in life.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans.

Why did the zombie go to school? He wanted to improve his “dead”-ucation.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.

What did one ghost say to the other? “You look boo-tiful tonight.”

What do you call a mummy with a cold? Coffin wrapped.

What kind of monster loves fast food? Frank-en-steins.

Why don’t skeletons ever use cell phones? They’d crack up.

What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.

How do ghosts say goodbye? “See you on the other side!”

Why did Dracula go to art class? To learn how to draw blood.

What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.

What do you call a skeleton who tells jokes? A pun-derful bonehead.

Share  Scary Good Laughs
And there you have it—50 Halloween jokes that are frightfully funny and family-approved! Share them at your costume party, use them for classroom fun, or post them on social media for a few hauntingly good laughs. Because when it comes to Halloween humor, the cornier the better—after all, that’s how we keep the “spirit” alive!